Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
