walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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