Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
