what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
