Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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