These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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