i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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