I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
