gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
