Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
