just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
