Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
