Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
What a dumb baby whore.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
