yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
