Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize