Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
