if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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