I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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