im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
