I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
