so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
