drinking out of a sandbucket again
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
