she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
