don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize