By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize