So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
