I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
