Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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