i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
