well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
