Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
