Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just want nice things and good sex
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
