he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I wish there were birth control emojis
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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