i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wish I only lived at night.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
