your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she told me i tasted like america
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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