This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
