To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
