thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
