The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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