You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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