That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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