shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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