You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
