i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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