Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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