Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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