When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
