she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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