Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize