Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
