So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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