I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
