Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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