If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
