I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize