i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
