I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
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