I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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