im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
