the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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