i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
